


somewhere only we know

by waveydnp



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: 2010 Phan, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-11
Updated: 2019-01-11
Packaged: 2019-10-08 08:39:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,383
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17383313
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/waveydnp/pseuds/waveydnp
Summary: dan and phil make plans to make plans





	somewhere only we know

He’s still tired when he wakes up. His bedroom is full of what is likely late morning light, flat and grey and not particularly lovely. If he were alone he’d probably wank it out and go back to sleep.

He’s not alone, though. Dan is here, right next to him. Phil can hear him breathing the deep even rhythm of sleep, can see a shoulder peeking out from under the blue and green of his duvet.

Phil would do well to let him sleep. They’d been up late doing… well. Doing things. Dan is probably still just as tired as Phil is. 

They have all day and part of the next day. They have time, time to do a lot more things, including sleep, but as soon as Phil’s eyes had opened and landed on the back of Dan’s sleepy head with its mussed brown hair he’d known he wasn’t going to go back to sleep.

These days are precious. He’s secure enough now to know there will be many more to come, but still. He wants to keep every moment he has. Sleep can wait.

He wriggles over closer to Dan and pulls on his shoulder to roll him onto his back. Dan groans but his body goes where Phil wants it, sprawling out with one arm thrown over his eyes. He makes a sleepy noise and Phil climbs right on top of him and starts kissing his neck.

“Christ,” Dan croaks. “M’not even awake.”

“Don’t hafta be,” Phil mumbles. 

Dan makes more grumbly noises but his hands drift up to touch Phil’s waist and he turns his head to the side to give Phil more delicious soft skin to kiss and suck. It’s still utterly intoxicating the way Phil can feel how quickly Dan gets worked up underneath him, can feel the low throaty groans Dan makes as Phil sucks in just the right place.

It still feels new but in the best kind of way. It’s exciting but it’s not scary anymore. The butterflies and flippy heart feelings are all excitement and no fear, no more uncertainty that this is something the other might not be into. 

They’re only half awake but clearly very, very into it. 

Dan is just so… _hot_. Phil doesn’t like to fancy himself a shallow person, but he can’t deny to himself in his own head that it’s still a touch insane to him that someone who looks like Dan is as into Phil as Phil is into Dan. He’s tall and lean and his hair is so soft and he’s just… ugh. Phil doesn’t even have words.

Dan makes a moan that’s obscene and Phil can’t help moving his mouth over to find Dan’s and lick into it. He wants to chase that noise down to his insides.

Dan kisses back but he doesn’t stop moaning, he just moans right into Phil’s mouth and squeezes his waist as he pushes his hips up. “How do you do that?” he groans.

“What?” Phil pants in response.

“You make me…” He doesn’t finish his thought, grabbing hold of Phil and rolling over so he’s the one on top. The duvet gets trapped underneath him and cold air hits his skin but it’s worth it for the view of Dan in nothing but his pants. 

“I just want you all the fucking time,” Dan says, and now it’s Phil’s turn for neck kisses.

Dan isn’t as ginger. He sucks hard.

“Gonna leave a mark,” Phil breathes, hands running up and down Dan’s back.

“That’s the idea.”

Phil chuckles. “People could see.” The thought gives him a weird little thrill. It’s not like they’ve been particularly discreet but if he shows up in a video with a hickey there are really only so many people who could have logically given it to him and most of his fans are probably well aware of that fact.

“I know, Phil. That’s the point. Want them to know you’re taken.”

The thrill intensifies into something with heat, low down in his stomach and between his legs. “That right?”

“Mhm,” Dan hums, grazing teeth over what Phil now really hopes is a blossoming bruise. “Want everyone to know you’re mine.”

Phil knows that’s not entirely true. But it’s still fucking hot. It still burns in parts of him that he doesn’t feel often, the baser carnal parts that want to lay claim and assert dominance and all that shit. Parts he doesn’t even necessarily agree with but that feel fucking good in the moment. He wants that, he wants to be Dan’s. He wants Dan to be his.

He gets a hand between them and reaches into Dan’s pants to squeeze his cock. “You’re mine,” he says simply.

Dan nods, whines against Phil’s neck as Phil pulls his fist down and back up slowly.

It’s so new, this feeling. Phil’s never had a someone. Phil’s never been someone’s _someone_. He likes it. He likes it so goddamn much. He doesn’t really know what he’s doing but Dan makes him feel like he does. Dan makes it all feel easy. 

-

He’s not usually glad to be alone in the house but today he’s glad his parents are gone. It meant Dan could make as much noise as he wanted while Phil jerked him off and it means they can shower together and kiss under the hot water without worrying about anyone else finding out.

He reckons he’ll want to tell them someday, and maybe even sooner than later. He doesn’t like hiding things from them and Dan feels like someone who belongs in his life, the real one that includes family game nights and trips to Florida and all of it. 

Phil’s got a soapy hand on Dan’s ass as Dan wanks him. His head is spinning with how good it feels, and then Dan says, “I wanna suck you.”

“God,” Phil groans, squeezing Dan’s cheek.

“Can I?”

Somehow Phil manages to see reason through the cloud of _fuck yes do it do it now please_. “Not in here,” he says. “You’ll slip and die and then I’ll be alone again.”

Dan pouts, all the while never stopping the motion of his fist. “But I wanna.”

Phil always wonders briefly if he’s wrong inside for loving the moments he’s so keenly reminded of their age difference. But he does, he loves it. Dan is so cute sometimes and it makes Phil feel like a grown up. It’s a rare feeling. He reminds himself that Dan is an adult and it’s not wrong and someday there won’t be guilty feelings peppered amongst all the love and lust and giddiness.

“You can later if you still want to,” Phil says, hand sliding down the curve of Dan’s ass and underneath, into wet folds of skin that he’s only gotten a couple of opportunities to explore so far.

“Do you want me to?” Dan asks

“Yes always. Literally always want that,” Phil babbles. It’s getting harder to form words coherently as Dan’s giant hand strokes him off. “You’re gonna make me come.”

“Good,” Dan says, a hint of laughter in his tone. “That’s kind of what I’m trying to do.”

“I want you to suck me later,” Phil says. He’s gripping Dan’s shoulders now, just holding on for dear life as the pleasure builds, pulling everything into the center of his body, coiling it tight and preparing for it all the come exploding out.

“Yeah?” Dan’s voice has gone deep with concentration. His hair is wet and long and a few strands dangle in his eyes as he finds Phil’s mouth to kiss it, to close his lips around Phil’s tongue and suck on it. It’s filthy and too much but not too much, it’s just the right amount of too much, which is how it always feels with Dan. Too much but in the best possible way.

He sucks Phil’s tongue like it’s his dick, and that makes Phil’s nails dig into Dan’s silky wet skin. His balls are drawn up painfully tight and he’s thrusting into Dan’s fist, all thought gone but for the need to come.

He does, just a moment later when Dan says, “Will you fuck me later too?” The mental image is too much and he grunts choked off noises as he empties his balls into Dan’s hand and against Dan’s hip. Dan strokes him through it, always so generous and then lifts up his hand when it’s over to admire the decoration Phil’s given him.

Seeing his jizz webbing between Dan’s long thick fingers reactivates that cavemen thing and he feels powerful, even though his legs are jelly and he’s in genuine danger of collapsing to the floor. Even though he slumps against Dan’s chest and whimpers about how much he loves him.

Dan chuckles and rubs Phil’s back. “Lemme wash your hair.”

-

Breakfast is an hours-long affair that stretches well into the afternoon. They spend it under Phil’s duvet on the sofa in the lounge, drinking too much shitty instant coffee and finishing nearly a whole loaf of bread between them. 

“Won’t your mum be cross about the crumbs?” Dan asks.

Phil waves his worry aside. “I’ve been her son for twenty two years now, she knows what to expect. Besides, she’ll just make me hoover it up later.”

They’re watching television. Kind of. The television is on and there are things happening on the screen but Phil reckons neither of them could answer if they were asked what they spent these hours watching, because they’re not really watching. They’re talking and laughing and cuddling and kissing and taking stupid pictures of each other on their mobiles and eventually Dan ends up in Phil’s lap and they’re kissing for real. 

It always seems to devolve into kissing. Not just kissing but proper making out, breathing heavy and grabbing at each other and feeling like they’d sooner eat each other’s faces off than stop. 

Phil’s not complaining. He never wants to stop kissing Dan. Soon enough Dan will be on a train bound south again and they’ll have no choice but to _not_ be kissing so Phil’s not interested in spending much time with physical space between them when there doesn’t have to be. He’ll be wanking alone tonight and remembering the smell of Dan’s hair and the warmth of his skin so he needs to log every tiny little detail while he can.

“When are your parents coming back?” Dan asks, somehow without ever pulling his lips off Phil’s.

“Umm…” Phil’s not as good at multitasking. He kisses Dan a few times after that before actually answering the question. “I dunno. Could be anytime now I guess.”

Dan pulls away then, grinning, and starts climbing off Phil’s lap. He kneels down on the floor between Phil’s legs and yanks on Phil’s pjs. Phil can feel his cock getting even harder as he lifts his ass for Dan to get the trousers down low enough. 

As soon as Phil’s cock is freed Dan is sliding his mouth down over it. Phil shifts his hips forward, closer to the edge of the sofa and leans back to get a good view.

Whatever Dan lacks in experience he more than makes up for in enthusiasm, not that Phil would care either way. Dan could be as lazy as he wanted and Phil would still be endlessly grateful, but he’s really really not lazy. He grips Phil at the base and bobs heat and suction up and down over and over and over, never seeming to get tired of it.

Phil’s no stranger to giving head. He knows it can get tedious after a while, and downright uncomfortable, but Dan’s never once acted like he’d rather be doing anything else. His mouth is so lovely and big and he uses it on Phil like he can’t get enough. Every once in a while he’ll stop bobbing and pull back to suck on just the head, or to pull Phil out of his mouth completely and just - look. Like he’s admiring.

“You have the nicest cock I’ve ever seen,” Dan says matter-of-factly, rubbing the pad of his thumb across the tip.

“Seen a lot, have you?” Phil asks. He sounds drunk.

“Not in person,” Dan says. “But about twenty billion online and yours is the prettiest.”

Phil smiles and reaches down to cup Dan’s jaw. “You’re wrong.”

“Uh uh.” He leans in and fits his mouth sideways around the shape of him and drags it up and down the shaft slowly, playfully.

“What about yours?” Phil asks. “Yours is my favourite.”

“Out of all your boyfriends?”

Phil laughs breathily. “Yeah. All my boyfriends. None of them are as pretty as you.”

Dan suckles at Phil’s head again and keeps his eyes locked onto Phil’s. It’s definitely one hundred percent without a doubt the hottest thing Phil’s ever seen. “Can I come in your mouth?” he murmurs, reaching down to stroke Dan’s fringe off his forehead.

Dan nods and sinks back down, getting back to it with even more vigour than before. Phil’s eyes flutter shut and he keeps his hand fisted in Dan’s hair. He wants it to last forever but it probably won’t even last another five minutes.

He curls his socks toes hard into carpet when he feels himself about to tip over the edge. “Dan, Dan, m’gonna come.” He feels a responsibility to give Dan one last chance to change his mind but Dan just starts stroking the base of Phil’s cock where his mouth won’t reach.

Phil cries out when he comes. He wishes he could be more cool about all this sex stuff but he’s painfully incapable of biting anything back when it feels like _this_.

Also, there’s the whole swallowing thing. Why does he find it so wickedly hot? He knows Dan doesn’t love the taste and Phil can’t blame him, but watching him milk it out of Phil and then swallow it down on his knees, it just… it’s all that alpha male shit that he hates and it washes hot all over him.

He reaches down and pulls Dan up roughly because he doesn’t want to feel those things about Dan. He kisses Dan and tastes himself, bitter and strong and he licks into it even though it’s gross because it feels like a counterbalance to liking the way Dan’s vulnerability makes him feel.

He pushes Dan down onto his back and doesn’t waste any time getting a hand into his pants again and wanking with absolutely zero finesse. Dan is hot and hard and moans right into Phil’s ear, pinned down and legs spread.

Phil feels crazy with it. He wants to make Dan feel as good as he feels, as _much_ as he feels. His hand wanders downwards a little, under the balls into the crack of Dan’s ass tentatively.

Dan makes a noise, a different one than before.

“That ok?” Phil asks, pulling back a little.

Dan nods, reaching down and pulling Phil’s hand up just a little so his fingers go back to the spot between the balls and the hole, that flat little strip of skin that has so far remained unexplored between them. Phil presses against it with the pad of his finger and Dan moans quietly.

“Yeah,” he says. “Right there.”

Phil buries his face in Dan’s neck and manages to work his other hand down and between them to stroke clumsily over Dan’s cock while the other keeps pressing and rubbing in little circles. It hurts his wrist and he feels all twisted and awkward but Dan’s noises are music in his ears -

Until there’s another sound. The sound of the front door opening and his parents’ voices. They both jerk upright and Phil manages to yank the duvet over their laps just in time to cover them up before his mum is there with a bag of groceries in her arm. 

“Oh ‘ello boys.”

“Hi mum,” Phil croaks, sure his face must be absolutely beet red. He sneaks a sideways glance at Dan to find that his _definitely_ is.

“Hi Kath,” Dan says sweetly. “How are you?”

Dan’s overly polite greeting stirs some cheeky part of Phil that has him reaching under the covers to cup Dan’s cock through his pajamas. Still hard. Still very very hard.

“I’m well love,” Phil’s mum says. “Could use the help of two strapping young lads with the shopping, though.”

Phil manages to hold back his laugh. “K, mum. Be there in a sec?”

“Alright lazy boy.” She walks off to the kitchen and Dan’s breath comes out all at once.

“You fucking cunt,” he hisses and Phil finally lets his laughter out.

“Oh my god. That was so close.”

Dan frowns. “Easy for you to laugh about this. You’re not the one with a raging hard on.” He reaches down, to tuck himself into the waistband of his underwear, Phil assumes. “You owe me, Lester.”

Phil smiles, standing up off the sofa gingerly and holding out a hand to help Dan up too. “I do.”

“Also you better be joking about other boyfriends,” Dan adds sternly.

“I am, obviously. I still can’t even believe I have the one I have,” Phil says softly. 

“Well believe it, ‘cause I’m not going anywhere.”

Phil aches to lean in and kiss him but he hears his Dad coming into the house and Phil has to content himself with the promise of later, tonight, in bed. 

-

What they lose in privacy with his parents being back they gain in proper food in large portions and glasses of red wine that make Phil’s cheeks feel hot and a surprisingly heated game of Monopoly that ends with a hotel being lobbed at Phil’s face. 

“What did you lot get up to today?” Kath asks them as they help her with the washing up.

Once again Phil resists the urge to giggle. “Just hung out mostly,” Phil says.

“You didn’t get out to the city?”

Phil shakes his head and Kath clicks her tongue. “Lazy lazy boys.” She gives Phil a look, just a tiny fleeting thing that’s probably nothing but makes Phil think maybe she knows more than she’s let on.

“If I had a car to drive…”

Kath snorts. “Not in a million years, child.”

Phil pouts, drying a dripping wet plate she hands to him. “I’m not _that_ bad.”

“You are,” she says bluntly. “And I’ll not be the one to provide you with the means to smash yourself up into a bloody pulp. If you want a car you’ll need to get a job and save up for one.”

Phil’s stomach drops, shame burning in the pit of it. He can’t even think of something playful to say to brush her off. He can feel Dan’s eyes on him and he wants to disappear.

Then Dan’s saying, “Phil has a job.” 

Phil could fucking kiss him right here and now. His mum frowns slightly in confusion before smoothing her face out. “Oh, you mean the videos?”

“He’s really good,” Dan says. 

Phil might _actually_ kiss him now. “She watches my videos,” he says sheepishly.

“They’re entertaining, aren’t they?” Kath says, returning her attention to the dishes. “Phil’s a bit of a nutter.”

Phil breathes a sigh of relief and shoots Dan what he hopes comes across as a grateful look. “Well look at the old bird who birthed me,” he says.

She grabs the towel out of his hand and whacks him over the head with it. “Horrible boy,” she says, but she’s laughing fondly. “Get out of here before I peck you to death.”

-

“Sorry about that,” Phil mutters as he closes his bedroom door behind them. “That was awkward.”

“Parents,” Dan says simply, flopping down backwards onto Phil’s bed.

“Yeah.” He wishes it didn’t make him feel like it does.

Dan props himself up on his elbows. “You don’t feel bad do you? She just doesn’t get it.”

Phil just shrugs. 

“Mine don’t get it either, and they’re a hell of a lot less nice about it. My mum’s never watched a single one of my videos.”

“It doesn’t matter,” Phil says, failing to conceal anything and he knows it. “She’s probably right anyway. I should get a real job.”

Dan sits up. “C’mere idiot.” 

Phil goes and plops down next to him. Dan shoves him back unceremoniously and sits on his hips. “Oi,” Phil protests weakly, splaying his fingers and pushing his hands up Dan’s thighs. 

“If you had a real job, we’d never have met,” Dan says softly.

Phil smirks. “You mean you’d never have stalked me.”

“Semantics.”

Phil tries to ignore him. He doesn’t want to have this conversation, not right now. He curls his fingers under the hem of Dan’s t-shirt and tugs up. Dan finishes the job and pulls it over his head, but then he rolls off of Phil and hops off the bed entirely. 

“Where are you going?” Phil asks, watching as Dan crosses the room and snatches Phil’s bright green York hoodie up off the floor. 

“To brush my teeth and have a wee.”

Phil watches him leave and then starfishes his arms and legs out across the mattress. He’s going to mess up their last night together if he doesn’t get a hold of himself. He can spiral about the future later. This right here is Dan time. Dan time is no time for an identity crisis.

It feels like forever before Dan finally comes back. Phil stays starfished and Dan lies down beside him, pushing an arm and a leg out of the way and lying his head down gently on Phil’s chest.

“Are you cross?” Phil asks.

“No. I just don’t want you to use sex as a distraction from your feelings.”

Phil huffs. “Why not?”

“Because I don’t want you to think of me like that.”

“I don’t.”

Dan continues. “You know you can talk to me. I can tell you’re upset.”

“I don't want to talk,” Phil says quietly. “There’s really nothing to say. I just… don’t know what I’m doing.”

Dan hugs around his waist. “You’re doing YouTube.”

“Yeah but… That’s not real.”

“Why not?” Dan asks. “Who says it isn’t?”

“My parents. My grandparents. Everyone.”

“Well, fuck ‘em,” Dan says. “No offense, of course, they’re nice people. But they just don’t get it.”

“Yeah,” Phil says, his voice faint. “Maybe.”

“Do you still like it?” Dan asks.

Phil turns his head to look down at Dan. “What, making videos?”

Dan nods.

“Yeah, of course. Sometimes it feels like one of the only things I can do well. I mean, I dunno if I even—”

“You do,” Dan interrupts. “You do it well. You know you do.”

Phil shrugs. “What even is ‘good?’ That’s such a subjective concept.”

“Are you gonna get all existential on me now?” Dan teases. “Thought that was my thing.”

“It’s not really existential, it’s like… I dunno. I don’t know words.”

“Phil, you have a bloody English language degree.”

Phil chuckles bitterly. “Yeah, exactly. I’m kind of rubbish.”

Dan makes a frustrated noise in the back of his throat and sits up. “Phil, stop.”

“Ok,” Phil says automatically, not even sure what it is he’s apologizing for. “Sorry.”

“Look, it’s just…” Dan sighs. “You’re AmazingPhil.  
I kind of like… I kind of need you to keep being amazing.”

“Ouch,” Phil mutters.

“Fuck, no, that’s not— I don’t mean like… ugh. I mean like… God, you’re gonna make me say it.”

Phil groans as he sits up. “Say what?”

“S’kind of embarrassing,” Dan mumbles.

“And being called a broke loser by your mum right in front of your boyfriend isn’t?”

Dan shoves at his shoulder. “She didn’t say that.”

“Semantics.”

Dan shoves him again. “Shut up and listen.”

“Alright fine. I’m listening.”

Dan looks down at his lap. “You can’t say you’re rubbish. You can’t act like making videos doesn’t matter.”

“Why, though?” Phil asks. “How do I know I’m not rubbish?”

“Because you fucking saved me,” Dan blurts. 

Phil is quietly stunned, too surprised to respond.

“I mean, not like— not like in a super melodramatic way,” Dan clarifies. “I mean like, you helped me. That’s a better word. You helped me get through a lot of stuff just by being your weird self so… unapologetically?”

Phil knows it’s meant to be a compliment, but all he feels now is that he’s letting Dan down by letting him see the truth of how much of a mess Phil really is. “Sorry to disappoint you. The real me apologizes. A lot.”

“Ugh, Phil, stop. That’s not what I mean.” Dan scrubs his hands down over his face before trying again. “Your videos - you - made me feel less alone. And the ‘real’ you makes me feel even better.”

Phil looks away. It’s not like they never open up to each other, but this feels like a step even further, like something Dan never really wanted Phil to have to hear. It’s so vulnerable that it makes Phil feel fragile too.

“I can only imagine how many other people who watch you feel the same way,” Dan says softly. “Your mum may not understand, but that doesn’t mean what you do isn’t important.”

Phil looks over at Dan, whose gaze is still cast downward. “Hey,” he says, and waits til Dan looks up. “Are you like, in love with me or something?”

He smirks and Dan grabs him and pulls him down so they’re lying next to each other.

“Actually I hate you,” Dan says, cradling Phil’s head on either side of his face and pulling him into a kiss that makes Phil’s heart flutter. He’s still reeling from the nakedness of Dan’s sincerity and kissing feels like exactly what he wants to do right now. Otherwise there’s a good chance he’ll start crying and he’s already been embarrassed enough for one evening.

Why does he ever spend time doing anything that isn’t kissing Dan? Kissing Dan is definitely the best thing that exists on this planet. Along with all the sex things and also just talking and also playing video games and listening to music and finding the most random stuff to do in Manchester like ride the wheel and kiss in 3D glasses in the cinema and explore snowy abandoned hospitals and also get mildly drunk and traipse around London while wearing half assed animal costumes and also drawing whiskers on each other’s faces and getting high on the sharpie fumes to film videos that take hours to edit out all the kissing and— well. Just everything, basically. Everything he does with Dan is the best thing ever and he’s already feeling tightness in his chest at the thought of watching Dan board a train that’ll take him away.

His hand hand has crept up inside the back of Dan’s hoodie to press flat against the small of his back. He’s always so warm. Their kissing is almost rhythmic now. All the hours and hours of practice have led to a knowledge of each other that makes their kissing like dancing, smooth and easy and wonderful and Phil never wants to stop but at the same time he’s bursting with things he wants to say and plans he wants to make and promises he wants to hear Dan whisper because Phil is so bloody in love.

“Let’s run away together,” he says.

“When?” Dan asks, not a moment’s hesitation.

“Right now.”

Dan keeps kissing while he says, “Ok.”

“You want to?” Phil asks.

“Mhm.” He tugs up on Phil’s shirt and pulls it off, tossing it somewhere behind him. “As soon as we finish what we started before.”

Phil smiles and helps Dan out of his hoodie. “Where will we go?”

“Doesn’t matter,” Dan says. “Anywhere, as long as it’s just us.”

“Of course,” Phil promises. “Just us.”

“Our own place,” Dan continues. “We could do whatever we want whenever we want.”

“Wherever we want,” Phil says, grinning cheekily.

Dan groans a little and reaches down to touch Phil but Phil stops his hand and rolls on top of him. “Uh uh. It’s your turn.”

-

“It doesn’t have to be just a fantasy you know,” Phil says softly into the darkness of his bedroom, head against Dan’s chest, Dan’s heartbeat in his ear. “It could be real. People do it all the time.”

“What?” Dan says sleepily, his hand tracing slow lazy circles on Phil’s back.

“Get a place together. Get away from where we are and make our own life.”

“You’d actually want to?” Dan asks.

Phil tilts his head up to look at Dan’s face. “Don’t you?”

“Yeah, course I do. I just… I dunno, thought it was sweet talk or something.”

“Doesn’t mean I didn’t mean it,” Phil says softly, dropping a kiss to Dan’s chest. 

“I don’t have any money,” Dan says. “I don’t have anything. I don’t even know where I’m going to school next year.”

Phil’s stomach drops. “Oh.” School. Right. He’d forgotten that bit.

“I’ve kind of been avoiding thinking about that,” Dan says. “My parents are up my ass about it every bloody day.”

“Where do you want to go?” Phil asks.

Dan shrugs. “Don’t know if I care, like, at all. I just want to make videos and be with you. Everything else honestly just feels like background noise.”

“For me too,” Phil says. He squeezes around Dan’s waist a little tighter and wishes with everything he has that they could just stay like this forever and ever, never having to face any of the things that make life difficult. “We’ll still be like… us, though, yeah?”

“What?” Dan asks. 

“Like I mean, even if you end going to school somewhere far away, you’ll still wanna… be with me?”

“Phil, come on. I thought I was supposed to be the daft insecure one.”

“I know, it’s just.” He sighs. “The distance is hard.”

Dan is quiet for a while. “You’re not breaking up with me are you?”

Phil actually laughs at that. “Shut up.”

“Well you’re talking about how hard it’ll be…”

“I just want you to reassure me,” Phil says quietly. “Sometimes my brain convinces me things are too good to be true.”

“So does mine,” Dan says. “But you’re the best thing in my life. I’m not giving you up for anything. I don’t care if sometimes it’s hard. It’s still easier than not having you at all.”

Phil pushes his face into Dan’s chest to quell the grinning. “Ok good. Thank you. Me too.”

“You know I applied to Manchester right?”

Phil nods. He does know that. He’d forgotten about school stuff but as soon as Dan had reminded him he’d remembered Dan mentioning that detail casually a while ago. 

“Would that be too… weird? I mean I don’t know if they’ll want me, I don’t know why they would but if for some reason they did, would that be too… clingy?”

“No,” Phil croaks. “Actually I think it might be kind of… perfect.”

“Really?” Dan asks.

“Yeah. I could get a flat there. I reckon my parents would help me if I told them I needed to be in a proper city for like, work or whatever. If I framed it that way. Just a cheap little flat, but we’d be close.”

“We’d be in the same city,” Dan says. He sounds so cautious.

“Yeah. Exactly. No more train rides and weeks without seeing each other.”

Dan sits up rather suddenly, letting Phil’s head fall to the pillow. Phil sits up too and asks, “What’s wrong?”

Dan just shakes his head. “It’s too good. I can’t let myself get my hopes up for that.”

“Yes you should,” Phil argues. “You should because we’re going to figure something out no matter where you end up for school.”

Dan turns to look at him. “Promise?”

Phil nods and pulls Dan back down into the warmth of the sheets and their skin pressed together. “Promise.” Right now it feels like the only thing he knows for sure. The only thing he can promise for sure is them, together, fighting to make it work. But it’s enough. It’s enough to make him sure the rest of the stuff can be figured out too.


End file.
